EAT YOURSELF TO GRAVE

SAYONARA

2011-04-29T22:38:00.001+08:00

Good bye my blog you have served me well.

WELL GUYS!!!

ITS TIME FOR A CHANGE! A UPGRADE TO A BETTER ONLINE SPACE!!

I have moved to wordpress. Well i paid damn 17US a year to get my domain without the wordpress thingy.

SO HERE IT IS!!!

AS of today, i will be blogging from there!

New place! New attitude! New beginnings! BUT EVER THE SAME OLD ME!!!

GO TO www.chadhan.com!

the people in our lives

2011-04-23T23:01:00.002+08:00

Its true isn't it? That people come into our lives for a reason bringing something we must learn, And that we tend to lean towards those that make not necessary happy but those that make us grow. I'm now studying in the middle of the night, well mostly to punish myself for partying so much. hahahhaha cuz im slightly behind time even for the aussie clock.

So i reckon i would blog abit to clear my mind. Recently watched wicked the musical, something i wanted to do when i was in NYC in 2009. I would definitely watch it again if i go to Manhattan.

Just a random question post to my readers: have you met anyone that changed your life for good? I certainly have met a handful that made me the person i am today. From a person that left me early, someone that picked me up, somebody that would rather let go then try. Well, the list goes on and i begin to see these people as my teachers that merely taught me a lesson in life. Funny how a broadway play can trigger so much emotions in me man.

I try to venture out and be fun and all. Its been good so far but i cant deny the fact that on certain nights, i do think of you. The you, that have already become a metaphor for the past.

Who can say that i have changed for the better?

Because i knew you, because i knew you, i have been changed. For Good? I dont know.

I haven been blogging much about what im doing cuz im quite busy with work and rather lazy. LOL! will share more about what i did this mid-term break once i finish my assignments

love these lyrics love the people around me

2011-04-21T22:06:00.000+08:00

(Elphaba):
Im limited
Just look at me - Im limited
And just look at you
You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda
So now it's up to you
For both of us - now it's up to you...

(Glinda):
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

(Elphaba):
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/for-good-lyrics-wicked.html ]

(Glinda):
Because I knew you

(Both):
I have been changed for good

(Elphaba):
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for

(Glinda):
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

(Both):
And none of it seems to matter anymore

(Glinda):
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

(Elphaba):
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

(Both):
Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better

(Glinda):
And because I knew you...

(Elphaba):
Because I knew you...

(Both):
Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good...

upadtes soon!

2011-04-15T10:46:00.000+08:00

this week is crazy man. did some work and played hard. shall update when i get back from yorkes!! :DDD surf camp!!

porn party at tonsley

2011-04-10T17:17:00.004+08:00

last wednesday was porn night so everyone was to dress up as porn stars. LOL.. like all sorts of porn: student porn, kitchen porn, gay porn etc Parties here are really pretty crazy. hahaha as long as you are dressed the theme, everyone would have fun with you! talk about body language. Then friday was pub crawl and saturday was out too. LOL.. I am now going to make a statement here that i would stay away from alcohol for at least like 2 weeks man.

and tell you guys.. i dont dare to post anymore party photos on facebook already. my relatives are talking about me partying and not studying which leads to my direct family nagging. and chain reaction.

anyway. LOL. i thought i post it here for my t.u.b. to see :D

Gravity by John Mayer

2011-04-03T22:39:00.000+08:00

stupid song. argh. its just the time of the day lar. good night

being young at every age

2011-04-03T15:12:00.003+08:00

Today is sunday and i was suppose to go surfing with a couple of uniSA guys but something cropped up and it was cancelled. So i decided to just spend a lazy firsty half of the day sleeping, eating, watching gossip girl, then get on with my studies. Yes, i do have a test coming up next tuesday. In the midst of memorizing all those phosphofructokinase and a-ketoglutarate dehydrogenase complex, i was distracted by the music playing next door at the community center. Apparantly theres a open mic party later at 7pm and some guys are rehearsing. Isn't all these just too good to be true? I am now in the best place, in every way a place could be described as. I thank my family for allowing me to really fly. I have never felt more free in my life.

Uni life is great but while at it, i can see the end already, where i head back to singapore and start to squeeze my way in the MRT and fight for promotions and such. But right now, right now, i just wanna enjoy every bit of it, waking up to perfectly chilled air, walking to school and greeting people from all over the world; bonjour, good morning, oui! ni hao, an yo ha se yo, ohayo!

Now what do i mean by being young at every age. During gym class, the female instructor in her 50s lifting twice amount of weight as i was really inspired. The young guitarist in the uni hall rehearsing for the night of his life later. Its doesnt matter whether you are too "young" to drink or too "old" to club.

I do believe that if you wake up to life, seize the day!

OWN IT PEOPLE.

inside Joke

2011-03-31T21:33:00.001+08:00

A: Hey so what clubs you in?

B: OH! i'm in the dive club.

A: Yeah, you sure look like you could sink. HAHHAHAHA

i should learn to love myself

2011-03-28T20:07:00.003+08:00

Yeah, if you dont love yourself, how do you expect others to love you?

AND i need more time!! haha shall start by waking up early in the morning at 7AM. I CAN DO THIS! I AM DISCIPLINED!

Eggless Cafe

2011-03-27T13:15:00.004+08:00

Eggless cafe!!! The cafe that don't use eggs for allllll its products; which is very tough since eggs are so delicious and seriously... its SO HARD TO BAKE WITHOUT EGGS FOR ME!!

Located just opposite the CAPRI THEARTE ALONG i think south road? hahah not too sure cuz we took a bus. Definitely gonna rent a car soon man! zzzz so hard to get around without a car in Adelaide.

Anyway, on to the desserts.

Vanilla and almond ice cream with peach. Ok lar.. quite a light dessert. still manage to please me.

Green Tea Tiramisu. Hmmmm.. i dont think it meets my tiramisu standards, which are not very high.

coffee pana cotta or something not bad

the pleased me.

Randoms last week

2011-03-21T20:00:00.005+08:00

The school clique. what to do? haha nutrition and dietitics is female dominated.

love the blurry shots that gives a better impression of me. HAHA

Random guy today at lecture. HELLO?! are you asking us to eat you? ˆ_^ LOL. crazy!

Oh and this pencil has special meaning to puiye. its like the cinderella glass slippers in her love story. We had some wine and shared out love stories. or rather my love(ed) story. Well, it will all get better in time as leona lewis sings, though theres not a single day that i dont feel hurt thinking about it. How i wish i can bring myself to hate you. Its easier that way

Hi Guys!!

2011-03-16T21:35:00.002+08:00

My sickening brother sent me a photo a johan in melbourne. :((( i miss their cheeks.. !!!!!!!

And yes, i bought a few bottles of wine. All muscato though.. my favourite wine of all. So sweet. It was cheap and you had to buy 6 for a 10% off so i shared with my friend to get some. Alcohol is cheaper here man... ...

SMILEY :)))

And this is me all smiley. I need to be more focused with what i want now that i sort of dabbled into all the UNI schoolwork, societies and clubs. I went to quite a number of clubs to have a look; diving, volleyball, environmental friendly, surfing, gym etc. So i narrowed down into these,

Go to 2-3 gym classes on weekday, 2 classes back to back on weekend.
Then, Go volleyball practice every wednesday.
Stay in school to study and wait for gym class instead of going home to slack

Go to the beach every fortnight, surf or not, just go until winter arrives and gets too cold to do anything on the beach.

Have a habit of waking up early even though some days classes start in afternoon.

Save money! Cut down on unnecessary food.

Try to get everything from central market so dont have to keep going to marion to buy stuff.

Have a habit of reading before sleeping.

Yup, i think that's good enough. Feel so much better to set all these straight in my mind. For me, i clear my thoughts by typing it out.

ALL SET!! READY TO GO!! :D

its been 6 months; now 5000 over kilometers away, i still think of you from time to time. Hope you are doing well. Dont think you would be reading this but i miss you. Good night.

Norlunga Beach :P

2011-03-14T20:33:00.003+08:00

went to norlunga beach today. Seriously, my relatives should stop talking behind my back. Its only right that im having fun here ok! Im studying in aussie of course i do what they do for leisure right. Sickening peeps keep scaring my parents back at home say what i excessive partying and keep doing water sports.

To a point, i dunno if i should post anything that might be remotely "happening" on facebook already.

And these photos hahah includes topless so i didnt dare to post it on facebook in case people vomit. :D

Love the beaches here. The life in general... slow and really people get to build relationships here. In singapore, its harder because of so much distractions. I actually feel more contented having less here than compared to so called having more luxury or comfort items back at home.

i love retail

2011-03-03T19:10:00.002+08:00

Yes its shiok. HAHA. and nope i didnt bust my budget at all. After all these years of experience i have evolved into a smart shopper. HAHAH

SLANG SIMI SAI!!!

2011-03-02T22:17:00.002+08:00

This was actually part of my previous post but as i type, i got agitated and decided OKAY! i'm going to put this up as on its own.

I'm quite thankful for this university's effort in bringing the transfer students from all around the world and which almost all of them stay in the hostel. LOL. I met like seriously international friends. From the nearby malaysia, brunei, japan, USA, Hong Kong, France, Holland, Czech republic, UK... like i really under estimate this uni. Im glad to be studying here cuz its more of a health science uni where most of the students are health science, or in some sort of a medicine degree.

BUT THEN!!!!!!!!!!!! Having a chance to study abroad, you should thank your parents and country fro being able to prosper and give you, GIVE YOU!!! the chance for this wonderful experience. My apologies, i just cant stand arrogant people, esp the slang slang AHEM kind.

Oh yea and SINGAPORE! hahaha SGH offering placements to aussie or transfer students. hahahah. Despite the fact that I might dismiss alot of Singaporean's habit and public behaviour, im actually pretty proud that im from the clean and civilized Singapore!!!

Seriously, some Singaporeans, shall not name who hahah I SAY YOU ALSO DONT KNOW RIGHT!!!!

Yeah, they try to act like all aussie or something. LOL. JUST SO AMUSING LOOKING AT YOU LAME AUSSIE WANNABES. I mean.. COME ON!!! BE PROUD OF your roots!!! I mean, changing your intonation so people here understand you is totally fine. BUT putting on a accent even when you are talking to your own country man??? COME ON!!!

Its okay you eat potatoes and not rice. ITS TOTALLY FINE. Keep your slang where you picked it cuz its just gonna be FAKE TTM. You know llike how people look at plastic noses? Yeah?? Get it??

I SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU LAAAAAAA

Having mingled around abit, i realise its DEFINITELY NOT the nationality that keeps you from making friends. If you are a LOSER, you ARE one even if you are from the moon. And well, if you're cool and open minded, not forgetting a reasonable level of EQ, you WILL survive and have fun wherever you may be.

SO YEAH. BOOOOOO!!!! to the Singaporeans who try to act all SLANG AND ATAS. WAKE UP YOUR BLOODY IDEA. PLEASE REMEMBER WHO GAVE YOU YOUR RED PASSPORT, Driving license that is internationally recognised, torturous education system to make sure you dont lose out to the China kids.

Honestly, class˜~ if you get what i meant doesnt coincide with arrogance. Holding your nose soooo high up there IS UNCLASS. hhahaha

JUST BE YOURSELF!!!!!!

You dont have to change yourself or hide to blend in. Trust me, you will have a hard time. Slang or no slang, accent or just intonation, between "class" and sincerity, i bet most will go for the latter.

CHEERS AND YES I AM A BLODDY SINGAPOREAN LEH!!

Life in Adelaide

2011-03-02T21:34:00.006+08:00

This is my 3rd week in Adelaide and so far i can say.. i am really getting comfortable here. Its true, sometimes i really feel like eating a bowl of Singaporean Fishball noodles. And the mixed rice vege with sweet and sour pork. And my baby nephews yes i miss them haha so irritating and CUUUTTEEE. Never wanted to pinch cayden or Johan's cheeks so badly. HA!

However, i'm getting used to waking up to fresh air, walking to class without a single drop of perspiration. Seeing the sun set in different shades of blues and orange. I mean these are moments i never appreciate in our bustling city. Just the peace i'm having here is alone to atone for the things im missing out in Singapore. I know people are telling me its because i just got here and everything seems new and exciting. Contrary, I'm really thankful not for the new exciting things but the serenity. So i shall share with you the little bits of my life here in my "MADE IN SINGAPORE"blog.

Here is my humble room. Part of a 3 bedroom townhouse i share with 2 other guys

Pardon my messy room. LOL. Too busy today.

Just some snap shots of me preparing my meals, cleaning up. LOL, i totally have no problem taking care of my meals man. DUH! I learnt all these in school. HA!

And TIP from my neighbour, flat pack you minced pork for better storage and easier defrost!!! HAHAH HOSTEL TIPS.

This is Victoria from the states. HHAAHAH we were comparing out driver's license. Thank Singapore for this awesome design and DURABILITY. YAY, one point to singapore products.

AND YEAH. I cannot tell you how much i love surfing. LIKE SERIOUSLY. Its hard to find a sport that i enjoy.

Should i?

2011-03-02T13:06:00.003+08:00

Im thinking about switching to tumblr.. cuz blogger's new settings kinda sucks.. and i cant edit in its preview form.. so IT REALLY DISCOURAGES ME FROM BLOGGING. ARGH.

SHOULD I???

change

2011-02-25T16:49:00.002+08:00

I think this is not the first time im blogging about change. But as cliche as it might sound, change is THE only constant. We change the way we look as we grow, the way we communicate, the way we live our lives. And since everything is changing, we as humans have to adapt around it. Basically, we are alright that things around us change because if we don't like it, we can just dispose it. However, once the people around us change, that's a whole different question. We begin to have reservations about them we never had before. What we should or must keep in mind is like what i mentioned that change is constant, simple as that. Just have to keep an open mind about everything and NEVER be judgmental. Let me keep my Singapore roots and say FOR WHAT SIA!! WEAR COLOUR SUN GLASS SEE PEOPLE FOR WHAT!

And if that particular person is worth keeping in your life, one should take the effort and try on his/her shoes. Occasionally, we have to take the extra step to try understand the situation. And like what my dear friend always keep in her mind, always be kind, for everyone is fighting some sort of a battle.

Chill people. Its just life.

ginssim

2011-02-24T20:53:00.003+08:00

feels kinda silly missing all the wrong things in the world

SO FAR ALRIGHT MATE!!

2011-02-22T22:08:00.002+08:00

EYYöllllll guyss!!!! so far i have a funny australian and a cool french housemate. LOL.. Looking forward to the next 6months together YO˜˜˜!!!!

HOUSE PARTAY PEOPLE˜˜!!!!

On the serious side, i have face the fact that over here. The aussie folks who can make it to this course are like the top 2% of the country. Means their Alevel equivalent grades must be damn freaking good to beat the rest of the 98% of their population. Damn.... Im going to be very challenged..

But still!!! HOORAY TO COOL HOUSIES!!

shall say all these before any fights happens if they really do. Dont really think so cuz i have stayed with guys before and i know that guys are better than girls. Girls are like.... they have issues lar.. with other girls.. feline characteristics. someone has to serve them. Ok, the more girly, the more issues. Girls˜˜~ GRRRRRR

CIAO˜!

MORNING MATE!

2011-02-21T20:48:00.002+08:00

This is me in glenegs. Not bad at all.. its like aircon beach hahah sunny but chilly. Alot of hot things happening if you know what i mean cuz its summer time and YAY im going to try surfing on sunday!! i cant wait man!! FINALLY!!

Thats Vanessa's hands playing piano in the music room. Really nice.. She played some touchy love songs and i went there for abit haahah nice to have a quiet moment after so many busy days.

I also went to the food and wine festival. Quite small actuall but omg.. ITS a GREAT FEELING to get tipsy before sunset. LOL.. 2pm and my face all red already.

Thats my house mate, Isaac hahaaha Hes really free spirit man!! Hes a vegan and environment caring person. I guess i will try to take in as much aussie good habits as i can! Hes pretty neat although he look like a bochap surfer dude. I look forward to chill outs

Van's mum cooked and yeah.. Haven been deprived of home cooked/ chinese food. Who knows one day i might ask Gek to fedex me a bowl of fish ball noodles hahahaha....

SOOOOO FARRRRR adelaide has been pleasant i know it will get boring as i stay here longer. But most people think i like noise and party and all. But thats really just occasionally. Most of the time i really appreciate the silence, just cooking for yourself and taking a walk in this shiok air con weather. I actually like the fact there aint many people here. Singapore is just way too crowded for me..

Well, Good night Singapore, i have not forgotten about you yet. :)

Last entry from Singapore

2011-02-17T02:05:00.005+08:00

OKAY! not really last lar!! Will be back every year.

Today i felt like a teletubby skyping with my brother, and jermaine they all. LOL.. Cayden was sooo cute the way he jump and screamed. SO ADORABLE. I will miss him the most. :(( and yang yang too. URGH!! I will miss out their cuteness phase. SUCKS AR!

Anyway, this is my fav auntie and uncle from Malaysia. HAHA. hmmmm I have been so busy doing wedding photoshoot for their daughther throughout half of CNY. That explains why i MIA-ed for a while.

Oh yah, revisted some nostalgic places. like old fun fairs. They didnt shrink, i was the one that grew. :D

These are sweets that we ate during childhood right?!! Only Malaysia have i guess cuz Singapore has advanced hahahahah. But hmmm once in a while look back to see how far we Singaporeans have come. NOT BAD AT ALL!

Steamboat to send me off to Aussie for studies.

Getting ready~!

If i really allow, i think i can cry now but seriously! Why should i? Im a guy and its really silly cuz its just 10 months. But still, i will miss out alot of my family, friends and babies life. Things are so uncertain these days that you really want to appreciate every moment you have with your loved ones. I never once mention but sometimes i would just tear when i think of how much love i have from most family members. What more could i ask for? Or rather, why should i let a small setback bring the entire chad army down? I deserve more and my loved ones deserve a a brighter smile to bring them more joy, laughther; they deserve a me with stronger shoulders to share their worldy burdens.

I remember Gek once said we always know what we have but we just dont know that we might lose it one day. I think its because we allow ourselves to settle in our comfort zone once we stay in a routine for too long. I believe we need to re-plan, re-structure our lives to stay relevant. Its really heart wrenching to leave your loved ones to pursue your dream but I know want to impact alot more out there in future and therefore it is necessary to get out of this bubble created by my country and my loving family. I look forward for a breakthrough and im going to work for it.

Watch out.

Tml, i shall not cry. I am no longer a small kid. I am a man, a brother and a son.

Nothing to worry about? no?

2011-02-11T02:59:00.003+08:00

So tired to blog about anything. been packing and packing and endless packing. Its just 10 months actually. really! I think i can handle myself and like living on my own. I mean i can cook and clean up after myself. I can go to the doctor myself, go to the market, do laundry and build up. Im just afraid of the schoolwork part which i think i will get a hang of it once i restart. So well, that leaves nothing to worry about! YAY!

Everything happens for a reason. I guess the sight of you dont only remind me of the immense hurt but also that someone who barely know me can actually care so much for me. Its all perception i guess? I realise getting upset and angry only happens when you truly care or cared. I cant tell the difference between either though. :/

TADA

2011-02-01T19:08:00.001+08:00

Hmmmm dont really feel the top but only took 1 and half days! For photoshoot should suffice ba..

What i am up to after finishing my TP job

2011-01-31T12:27:00.002+08:00

Now with facebook blogging seems like a thing of the past but HEY! there are somethings that are more private that i dont wish to share with that many people. And THERE! Im tasked to make a wedding dress for a photoshoot for my cousin. Like a prelude to her actual photoshoot. Well, beats watching TV and eating chips all day right?

AND I LOVE YOU MR. SMITH.

the weirdest feeling ever

2011-01-28T21:39:00.002+08:00

It feels like primary 4 when i sat beside geok ting. It feels like primary 6 with yong huan. hmmmm... wonder wonder...

[SHINee] Honey Pot Full HD

2011-01-23T22:15:00.000+08:00

i dunno what u are saying but omg SOO FUNNY

Cooking is joy!

2011-01-22T22:50:00.004+08:00

To get to this state, i had to reduce a bottle of red wine to like 1/5 of its original volume to get the essence and rid the alcohol. Had to add beef, herbs, spices and other stuff like carrots. Damn the whole pot cost so much but yet produce like maybe 100ml of liquid only!! Then add roux and beef stock to make the sauce.

Oysters with cheese on it!! :DD Recipe from Mr Yun Guang.

Happy customer!!

Pardon the background hahaah. no time to arrange nicely lar!

Feels so good to cook for my family. I used to always bake this and that but seem to stop after i entered the Army. Tonight was specially prepared to thank them before i fly off to adelaide. Abit of mixed emotions here and there but going there is definitely for the better. It will be my own personal adventure in everyway. Living independently, self discipline, exploring relationships, be my own emotional support. I guess thats how we learn and grow. 23 years old already this year and not getting any younger, its time to take care of not only yourself but others around you.

Sidetrack: I think i somewhat found an answer. Though im quite disappointed after hearing the truth from another person. Alot of words: manipulative, cold fish hahahaha But i guess it doesnt matter anymore. And for the first time, because i don't want it to matter anymore. I don't even want to squeeze out some time to swear at you. Oh yes, truth does hurt at times. But im glad my heart has finally closed his doors on you. With a smile. :) Good bye fake sheep.

你最近还好吗

2011-01-17T21:52:00.001+08:00

Earlier on when i was recording something on keyboard for my colleague. Played a recording of your singing and playing of piano by accident. I didnt know i still had it in my phone. You know what, i threw away the stuff i used to collect; the tickets, concert ticket, the little things. All kept in the salmon mentaiko bento; the first dinner you bought for me. I deleted all the smses on the very night so i could get some sleep, i really needed it. I started a blog then deleted it, lived in denial for awhile. I block all the sources of newsfeed, i avoid places. I bury myself in work and social.

After forgetting your phone number which i remember by heart, after eating in the same places, with the same order, even failure to cry when the director asked me to, i thought i had went back to the me before you. Just one hug and i allow myself to drink so much i couldnt recognise. Just one audio file and everything i seem to be working for seems futile. Sometimes i feel so trapped. No one to warm my left hand when the car air-con gets cold. No one to feed me gummy bears. No one to tell me its alright to be a blur on the roads. No more waking up to morning greetings and no more ending the day with you. I promise myself that this is a new year i won't let 2010 affect now and the future. I wont even talk about you anymore in front of my friends. I took forever and i still cannot forget her. For you, i dont know how long it will take. Maybe like what Daniel Gottlieb said, we have to learn how to live with these feelings of longing. I have alot to deal with already. Can I just please have one less feeling of missing.

1...
2.....
3......

Breathe~

眀天会更好，明天的明天会更更好，明天的明天的明天会更好。 I believe.

asian beauty

2011-01-16T23:46:00.002+08:00

I thought tonight i wanna blog about how great SPRUCE, my brunch was, how nice this t-shirt i bought from pull and bear was. Then i came across this photo and i thought about women, and the perception of beauty. But im so dead tired and i got work tml! OMG. shall write my article on the bus.

Soon i promise!

Dreaming

2011-01-15T02:36:00.002+08:00

Just watched this movie crazy little thing called love. Reminded me of the younger school days. Friendship, wanting to be cool, crushes. Haha. Oh dont we all miss the good old days?!

Well, i do indulge in a little fairy tale here and there. hahaha but right now.. hmmmm its a little too good to be true

goody are u going to desert me?

2011-01-11T20:58:00.002+08:00

This is my last month working at TP and i finally whip out the discipline in me to exercise and actually eat wiser. Just that i realise as i grow, i also get more disappointment in mankind. Like you can put in alot of effort for work and its just never enough. That you stop helping upon sight, but think first if you got the time. Its just times that i see kind souls getting taken advantage of or sometimes im the victim. I feel so angry at myself for not being able to do something about it because im powerless. I know money can lend you a certain authority. For example, you can send a lawyer letter as and when you like. You have that higher degree of influence cuz you now have a bigger share of the pie.

I also know that money cannot get me what i really want. Money can accelerate processes but most definitely cannot take you back in time. For that reason i didnt sign up for the rat race. But i hope my beliefs can get me a ticket to the end point.

Today, my friend's car was hit by a van. As a concerned friend i asked if she was alright. She told me what happened and specifically mentioned that the uncle "thank" her for causing him to lose his job. I know she will be damn affected as the kind of person she is. So i told her that if its not her fault she should go ahead to fight for compensation without any sympathy what so ever. LIKE STOP LETTING OTHERS STEP OVER YOU!!

So later in the evening, still fuming mad, i sent her this,

No need call back just wanna tell you to get your aunt or someone fierce to deal with it. Don't care what he lose job all these if is he's fault. Hao xin mei hao bao one!!!

Then suddenly, i think, what if the uncle has kids to raise. New year is coming, Losing job at new year? What a "happy" new year would that be? However, these thoughts were quickly pushed aside by this: SO NICE FOR WHAT?! ITS A DOG EAT DOG WORLD!!!

I still can recall when i was working in V tearoom with Amy. There was once we were walking. This old woman had her trolley all toppled over and none of the by passers would stop to help. My first reaction was to chiong and help her even though it was all rag and bone stuff. We even helped her all the way to her house across 2 streets.

Now? i guess my devil has the bigger weapon.

OH! OPEN HOUSE 2011

2011-01-09T23:50:00.003+08:00

Went to art exhibiton with jasper. Always go with him cuz apparantly like no one gives a shit about the art scene in Singapore. Also, like me, he dare to voice out like opinions about the art installations. A reasonable art argument i would call it. Tonight's installation was nice. Totally artgraded (upgraded artistically) since last year. LOVE IT!

Do buy your tickets at marine parade library

For more info, here are the details at,

http://www.facebook.com/ohopenhouse?v=wall

tickets are 10 dollars and the last tour is at 730pm. Do reach there earlier!!! All you have to bring is 10 bucks and an OPEN MIND.

CHEERS :D

thats why

2011-01-09T11:04:00.004+08:00

Gek teng said i missed out a very big part of my 2010 entry. That is you. The one i could throw everything away for. Well, mu answer to gek teng is I had my starbucks and im not looking back. What for i keep mentioning it.

New year resolutions!

2011-01-02T11:56:00.002+08:00

New year marks a new start and i shall not live in the past anymore. My new year resolution is simple.

MOVE FORWARD. FULL SPEED AHEAD!!

YEAR 2010 - the year of lessons

2010-12-29T20:57:00.011+08:00

My friend Jasper came up with this theory that if you dont party hard enough for the new year eve, you will be cursed with bad parties the rest of the year. TOTALLY BULLSHIT. I partied at Vegas last year and LOL, lets not go into my partying schedule for the year. 2010 was a year of learning for me. From surviving the post holiday emo syndrome in camp to almost killing a pedesterian in sentosa, it was indeed a year of ups and downs. I really felt that i grew, and heres what i learned and hope to share with you guys.

Learned that all women get to be queen; at least one day in their lives. And that no matter how heart broken i get, i should never attempt that hair colour ever again.

Learned that there's nothing more important than staying calm in dangerous situations

Learned that perserverence and hard work pays off.

Learned that we will still be together even when we become old and ugly

Learned that running for standard Chartered alone is not impossible cuz marathon is such an individual challenge to one's mental strength

Learned that i can't really act hahaha :) Acted for one episode of channel U documentary airing next Feb!

Learned that actually my t.u.b. are more than willing to be my audience

Learned that when the going gets tough, the tough gets zombie. AHAHHAHA. Learnt that when life gives you lemons, you make sure you dont just make lemonade. YOU JOLLY WELL MAKE lemon merigue pie, lemon chicken, lemon tarts, lemon rind sorbet and more.

Played with students while operating Deli. HAHAAHAHA.. this job wasn't the lab work promised but ITS SO MUCH MORE FUN, esp when Cool Jade came.

Learned that at age of 22, there are still so many virgin experiences i can have in this small city

Learned that partying is not about the lights, music or activity but the people

Learned that when you are upset, even a shangri-la buffet with your besties taste bad

Learned that my broken heart is nothing compared to theirs.

Learned that in the darkest of times, there are people who bring u light

Learned that my wish CAN come true

Learned that i cannot live without them

Learned that my polymates werent just friends

Learned that i can still smile, laugh and be happy again

Learned that babies are really joy of the world

Learned that alcohol wasn't the thing i should quit but its my negative emotions i should conquer. Alcohol was just the catalyst.

Learned that my family loves me no matter who i am or will become.

Most importantly, I learned that life is never about an issue, anyone or myself for that matter. It's also about others. Not just having to live for happy moments but also live with the upsetting memories that may tag along.

CHEERS and happy new year my readers. Thank you for listening to me rant these past 4 years or so. I look forward to sharing more lessons of my life :))))

DR LAM

2010-12-23T14:06:00.002+08:00

CAYDEN Joining me for a shot

Free toothpaste from dentist

I finally found a better dentist to clean my teeth. Do you know that Singapore dentist are well respected and sought after in the world? The news reported that alot of foreigners fly in to have their dental treatment and surgery. AND BECAUSE OF THAT OUR DENTIST CHARGE LIKE F*ING ALOT. It ranges from a long waiting list NUH $60 to $120++ in the town area just to clean your teeth.

I have been searching for a dedicated, cheap and good dentist near my area since forever. And TADA!! i found him!!!

MAKE YOUR APPOINTMENT @ 63464988

Dr Lam's clinic is at 473 joo chiat oad, S'pore427681. Its beside AWFULLY chocolate another one of my fav. :DD

Basic teeth cleaning is only $40++ depending on how state of your teeth.

Sorry seems to be the hardest word

2010-12-22T16:01:00.005+08:00

Yes indeed it is. But we all have to if we did something wrong. Its a way to tell others that you are guilty. But what other purpose does an apology serve? when the damage has been done.

Was talking to my brother the other night. His point of view is that we shouldn't share our problems because by sharing, we burden others with it. Its true we feel better but its because we have pass some of it to the listener. I always believe in talking things out. However, what he said is not entirely illogical. Sometimes, by not telling, we keep how some of our loved ones view of the world untainted. By knowing one less hurtful fact, our loved ones are happier. I won't say they are truly happy because they choose to live with the lie. But as least they are happy. I should start putting other's feelings before mine because i am not as important as i thought i was.

Time

2010-12-19T13:43:00.003+08:00

Really? I don't think so.

i guess we all have our messy moments. well, :)

Hardbeat

2010-12-16T00:42:00.003+08:00

never again shall it beat

the perfect giant

2010-12-12T23:05:00.004+08:00

This is Ann Ward, the winner of ANTM cycle 15. I love the red hair girl kayla too but Ann has 'it'.

Ann has a compelling story as well. Its not only the fat or ugly that get picked on. Come to think of it, its the people who are different or dare to be different get picked on. Why? Just because people lack understanding to why these people are borned or act certain way.

Ann was oftened made fun of as the giant.

I think that we are all made fun of in a way cuz we all have our flaws. Its about finding a perfect home for that difference you have. Beauty is NEVER about conforming. After watching ANTM for 15 cycles, im beginning to realise that Tyra Banks is true about saying that beauty is from within; even though modelling is about about the exteriors.

So you dont have to have double eyelids or a high nose or super slim figure. You just have to find a home for your already perfect face. :)

Westlife - My Love

2010-12-08T21:48:00.003+08:00

A random song that i would like to share with my readers. Like all other young adults, it seems like this never ending journey to self discovery. Who you are, who you really wanna be and are you on the right track of your aspirations?

After working for the past 3 months, i seem to have settled into this kind of life; where you work for 8 hours, sleep for another 8 and try to squeeze everything else into the last 8. Its all about managing. I realise nowadays with online social networking being so part of our lives, people tend to do certain things or attend certain events so they can "appear on facebook". Even for me sometimes, i would have this instant gratification to be tagged on a photo or having someone comment on my status updates. I often question myself the thoughts that goes behind doing this or that.

At the end of the day when facebook becomes obsolete, like the tamagotchis or papa roti, will you still wanna do what you are doing? Are you loving because you love or are you loving because others love that you are loving it?

crippling yourself

2010-12-05T20:05:00.005+08:00

And i always think that running is a breeze. Thats because the furthest i ran non stop was only 15km. The mind fucking begins after 10Km and it gets worse as it goes. People slowing down, walking all can affect you to do so as well. All you have to do is to stay away from these people and look at those running then run with them.

The first 10km was easy. I just ran like i own it. Then the fatigue sets in, the thirst from dehydration. I almost flew when i saw the 100 plus water points. Then the air gets smelly too hahaha from the sweat from people around you. Many random thoughts came to my mind as i got tired. I swear, its like your mind is trying to pick up something from your memory to stop you from continuing to run.

Thats when i finally understood why some people love to run that much. For me, its because i dont think about anything when i run. Its like my mind gets to just be still for awhile. I guess for others, running long distance challenges yourself to mentally overcome these negative thoughts your mind will try to give you just to make you stop.

Running, its more of a mental challenge than a physical one. I'm definitely trying the full someday. though the half already made me feel like my hips are looser. LOL

跑吧

2010-12-01T22:30:00.004+08:00

跑啊跑啊，才发现原来一至再原地盘旋. When can i just stand still? Does it matter?

into space

2010-11-30T19:18:00.003+08:00

Staring into space. Then closing your eyes and just breathe. Only breathe and nothing else. I don't know what's becoming of me. Sometimes it scary.

3,2,1 ACTION!

2010-11-28T17:01:00.007+08:00

Have not been blogging much about whats going on with my life. I don't know who reads this space anymore but anyways, not much articles to post lately so heres updates about myself! :D

Something interesting that i did recently with August Pictures. I auditioned for a role of an army boy for some indie film last year but somehow film was cancelled. Then recently, my friend contacted me to audition for a few reenactment scenes for a channel U programme called, Gift. I think it should be aired in February next year.

Anyways, it was alot of fun.

The director's view

check out my mum for the day. She so professional man.. considered im a noob.

And heres the little boy who keep tagging on to me. ahaha kids.... i was trying so hard to emo cuz there was a sad scene which if i cried would be perfect. Too bad.. i needed more time to squeeze the sad emo out of me..

And heres the last scene. Singing on the stage. Not my forte i must say. My singing is horrible and im bad with remembering lyrics so Amy helped me to write those lyrics on mahjong paper so i can read from the stage.

Damn... Acting on film is quite hard i must say.. even more so when you have little script to recite. All your emotions have to be displayed on your face. I did some theatre performances back in Poly days but man.. on film, close up and all is a totally different thing. Its a rare opportunity man. MUAHAHA im going to get VCR and record myself when its aired.

rolling in 3,2,1

2010-11-25T20:07:00.004+08:00

What an experience. Tml is the last scene. Fingers Crossed!! :////

Im so jam packed with alot of stuff!! I think as Feb nears I will get busier. Well, busy is still better than having nothing to do right?!!

CHAD CURRENCY

2010-11-21T21:24:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BDAY GEK TENG ! HOPE I MADE YOUR DREAM COME TRUE.

Dear Gek,

Thanks for never giving up on me during the darkest of times. I know there will still be even darker times than my darkest times. LOL. but i also know that there will be brightest of the brightest too! Thanks for taking my emo-shitness. Thanks for making my problems look small. Thanks for letting me slap your fatty arms. LOL.Im looking forward to see the world with you on the round the world cruise in year 20XX. AND YES WE WILL GROW OLD TOGETHER!!

CCN day

2010-11-21T21:20:00.001+08:00

walked around to see students selling stuff for charity in school. :/ those days were fun man hahaha we sold cookies and brownies. TP, still got its charm after 3 years. NOT BAD AT ALL!!

HOPE

2010-11-21T15:55:00.002+08:00

Something intangible that you hold on to when all is lost. Hope, just like faith, you can see, hear or feel but definitely something that gives you the strength to carry on. Hope brings optimism to the future. Let hope carry some of your burden, you will feel so much lighter.

bus 65

2010-11-19T23:08:00.002+08:00

Taking a long bus ride. brings back some memories. Bus 65. A ride that i catch to the nearby tampines mall for movies or hang out with my classmates after school when i was younger.

Bus 65, no longer preferred when i had the money for taxis or thought the train was faster or simply, bus 65 could no longer bring me further than a heartland mall.

Yet Bus 65, now that i'm drained, longing for a place to retreat, you picked me up from the dazzles of lights in town. You brought me home.

Bus 65, I missed you today.

我真的好累。但只有我知道我为合不能停下。

vortex

2010-11-15T00:21:00.001+08:00

When things get out of order i tend to retreat to my little cave and start drawing plans to set things right. I set out to work in Temasek Poly to get back the exhaustion feeling that was suppose to be right because in that way i know im being productive and not wasting a single second of youth. Now that i got that feeling back, i'm kind of dumbfounded again.

Just now was with poly mates at my nieces' chalet just random updating on our lives and i realise i have nothing interesting to share. I had a holiday very recently, i'm going to study in adelaide next year, i have the temp job i wanted very much. I enrich my life with music lessons, i meet up with people that meant to me. Why is it that i tried every mean and way to make my life a 100% and somehow it still doesnt feel like it? Is it because i try too hard? Like some people say that one should not even try but just go with the flow in life then you will be happy. I don't want to hear about relationships from anyone anymore because even i'm tired of talking about it already. Maybe it is what im lacking in life, maybe its not, it doesnt matter anymore.

Right now, i want to set my life right. Looking at 22 year olds setting up businesses, honing skills, paving their way to a life they desire, i reflect upon myself and start doubting. Am i just average or worse, mediocre? Have i over estimated my capabilities? All i know is that working full time really slows me down alot but the pay will really allow many things to happen in future when i need money to move forward with development of my skills or ideas; or just fly back on my own expenses to see my loved ones.

Its really tough; to have to work so hard to support an idealism created by myself. I just hope im not too harsh on myself. yet another to-do list i guess it should help to clear some issues on my mind.

Eat. Pray. Chill.

2010-11-07T01:48:00.005+08:00

I guess you don't have to fly to italy to eat or travel to india to pray. A holiday can be a state of mind. Just let your mind bring you where only you and nothing else matters. My family might say i'm being stupid wasting half a day in Taipei roaming around alone trying to find myself. ... Instead of shopping eating and all that typical holiday activities.

After 5 hours of cramming in jet star, initially to spend family time, but actually to get away from my problems i realise no place will be far enough to dump your negative feelings. The ultimately recycle bin is within you. You can't just check in your emotional baggage like do with your luggages.

There are sure to be bumps on the path of life. If we can't solve it now, we just have to hang on first. Quoted from a book, " letters to sam" the author shared that he got a very bad sore once but the doctor bandaged the wound when he was told that the wound needs oxygen to heal. The doctor then replied him, "Dear, all that is needed to heal the wound is already in your body." the oxygen is in the blood not from the air.

Bruises and scars are indeed part and parcel of our lives. And yes, we are definitely not superhuman. Everyone is capable of being fragile, emotional and irrational. Learning to live with these emotional baggages is necessary because even the symbol of optimism, the rainbow, has different shades. We must learn to live with these feelings of longing because some voids are impossible to fill while others are just well, not ready to be filled. And some are just meant to be empty to remind us of the importance of those that are filled.

Life is definitely not a fairy tale but its sure does have many fairy tales. Read on. Write on. :)

ADVERT

2010-11-06T15:07:00.004+08:00

Got feedbacks that i dont look good in light hair colours. Actually for a change is alright lar. But i prefer darker hair colour because its easier to match clothings. Its so difficult to dress up when you have loud hair.

I betrayed maggie and got my hair cut in taipei. :D Was quite happy with the results so i shall advertise for this hair stylist.

He called Frank, a small small guy with alot of hair. you can book him at 02-2375-1900.

Located in a shop called LUAN JIAN. hahah like anyhow cut. At Xi men Ding 159, 1st floor

The hair dye he used was quite mild compared to my local hair stylist's. Hers irritated my scalp and i think my hair count dropped. AHAHAH ok lar, exaggerated. I didnt feel a thing with his hair dye which is good.

Overall the trip was not too bad, i mean its a holiday!! Who would complain a get away!!! Shall blog more when i settle. Still very messy now.

ciao.

TAIWAN so far

2010-11-02T23:42:00.002+08:00

OOooooo cannot use iphone though.... 20 bucks per MB!!! you must be kidding me.. Jermaine said one of her classmates got a phonebill of $27,000... -_-

安静了, 沉默

2010-11-02T00:42:00.002+08:00

只剩下钢琴陪我站在这里
梦想中属於我们的婚礼
安静了在我枕边的梦里
我知道相爱原本就不容易
爱不是一场雨
努力就有结局 wo~
撒娇的可爱的
迷人的爱哭的
照片里曾经的都是你爱着你的
连假的泪还温热
却没有人握我的手

说我爱你太多就快要把你淹没
你害怕幸福短暂一秒就崩落
分开是一种解脱让你好好的想过
我想要的那片天空你是不是能够给我

你说我给你太多却不能给我什麽
分不清激情承诺永恒或迷惑
爱情是一道伤口我们各自苦痛
沉默是我最後温柔是因为我太爱你

WOHOO

2010-10-28T20:18:00.002+08:00

SHILIN night market~here i come!!!

i'll be ？

2010-10-28T18:02:00.001+08:00

还是很有感觉。

my way

2010-10-28T17:47:00.000+08:00

when faced with apple or orange, i usually just toss the coin.

back on track

2010-10-25T23:55:00.003+08:00

Looking through my past blog post. I've been always try to stay positive through the adversities that i come across. Hopefully working at TP would remind me how full of drive i was in POLY days. And spur me to full power mode, which i think i am on track now cuz im sooo f*ing tired... ...

My family tells me that because i have nothing to worry about as in money, food, a roof over my head and thats why i give my attention to unnecessary stuff. I guess what we want from the previous generation is totally different. They just want a family, financial security, and safety. We want alot of money, safety we take for granted already, we want to find ourselves (eat pray love context), good career, caring other half, social statuses, job satisfaction and the list goes on.

They tell me, wait till you have nothing to eat then you will stop worrying about those silly stuff like love. LOL.

I'll be the one who brings you coffee when you can't get up
I'll be the one who turns the light out when you go to sleep
I'll be the one who turns your stomach into something else and you say
Shut up, shut up, every time I say

-mark owen-

hello

2010-10-23T08:06:00.001+08:00

how are you doing these days? i miss you

back to routine

2010-10-22T20:50:00.005+08:00

So i have gone into a routine lifestyle whereby i wake up at 7 plus, get to work by 830, knock off at 6pm and then after work activities such as classes, runs or swims. Just like army actually. I feel that life IS afterall a routine or rather you follow a certain pattern after some time. AND THE WORST PART is they indented SAF meal boxes for takeaway. -_- OMG. yet another reminder for reservice. stop haunting me SAF!!

And one of those routine day after work, went to safra to swim with shaun. Have been trying to incorporate exercise into my life and since the TP gym is rather intimidating with those dragon boaters. hahaha i choose the pool!!

And WTH. Shaun decided to try out this ice cream parlour after the swim. A scoop of ice cream is around 200-300 calories depending on the fat content which equated to the calories i burnt in the pool. -_- So i might as well not swim at all.....Still, the ice cream itself is not bad considering its at a un-atas neighbourhood. Its called Blic. DONT order the alcohol range cus its bloody expensive. $5.80 for a scoop!!! -_-

and yes, im the victim cuz i chose my fav baileys

COW ALSO MUST BE STYLISH

2010-10-19T22:22:00.002+08:00

Here chef, if you are reading my blog, which i hope you are not, here are a few recommendations i have for the positioning of the chef hat. hahaha I like the first one. :D

Self help?

2010-10-17T17:08:00.004+08:00

Friday night, while waiting for gek and yang heng, i went to kinokuniya to browse books and look at magazines. I stopped to pick up a book titled "making decisions". Then somehow the books placed next to it were, "When everything changes, change everything" ; " In a time of turmoil, a pathway to peace" ; " the happiness equation" ; " lonely?" ; and " still procrastinating?"

Other than all these above, there were all beauty books teaching how to makeup, style and such. Then i thought shit! did i walked to the self help section again? Lucky man... its the best seller section. Why are the best sellers self help books? Or rather why do self help books sell? Is it because they give us an idea that the answer we are looking for, the help we so desperately wanted is in that 500 odd pages? Come on~! i think sometimes, we already know the answer. Its just a matter of acceptance. We are all looking for an outlet to accept the fact.

Kids

2010-10-14T21:40:00.002+08:00

Kids. lol. so cute and they never ask you to go away. oh.. wish they just stay the way they are.

umi

2010-10-13T23:39:00.003+08:00

我才是真的受伤了呢。

现在的你有比从前快乐一点吗？

想，我真的好想。

Time

2010-10-12T22:14:00.003+08:00

Yes, time. Our only true asset. And the only fair thing in the world. Everyone has 24 hours of it where we can choose whether to exchange it for money, beauty, better health, relationships etc. Its said that life is never fair but i think its fair in a way we are all timed in this life on earth. And that reaffirm that what Oprah Winfrey said is damn true. We can have everything but not all at the same time. But well, focus on the first part of we CAN have EVERYTHING. Everything you define as success in life. Be haste to learn but never set a time constrain because you are not setting timely goals this way. You are actually limiting yourself. Who says you can only own a flat when you are 30 or when you get married? All you need is discipline over the time you have. Yes, and stop facebooking so much. Im guilty. :/

SCREW YOU NEGATIVITY

2010-10-10T21:22:00.002+08:00

YEAH MAN! SCREW YOU! Tommorrow is a brand new day and start of a fresh new week! Imma Imma Imma be positive to attract postivity in my life. SCREW YOU (-)

who knows tml i wake up feeling emo again. LOL. who cares. just enjoy this positive moment!

Ancient wisdom?

2010-10-09T10:08:00.003+08:00

The Bhagavad Gita- that ancient yoda text- says that it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of someone else's life with perfection. So now i have started living my own life. Imperfection and clumsy as it may look, it is resembling me now, thoroughly".

-Elizabeth Gilbert

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

-Elizabeth Gilbert

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?

2010-10-07T20:55:00.001+08:00

I can grant you any wish but there's two things i cannot do.

Then i dont think i need any

tissues and more tissues

2010-10-06T23:43:00.003+08:00

my immune system has finally gave up. It fought well. LOL. urgh... the sick me is completely unproductive at all. :/

God told me

2010-10-04T23:49:00.004+08:00

Someone told me that this blog i write keeps her pondering after reading; be it about love , life or small issues. She said, if only you can read your own blog. Its not that what i write is not part of me, but what i write in this kind of entries are solely the works of my brain. It may be a part of me whom has already mastered the control of my emotions. Maybe this blog portrays the kind of person i will become in time to come when i mature.

So, as i was saying, in one way or another, God has been popping his head into my life every now and then to check if im ok. These days, he seem to be making his appearances subtly and Yes God, i know you are watching me, thank you very much.

There was quite a few incidents but i will share with you the latest one. This time he convey through the bible i just flipped open this morning out of frustration.

ECCLESIASTES 2:7
A time for everything

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

better a poor but wise youth than an old foolish king who no longers knows how to take warnings. The youth may have come from prison to the kingship, or he may have been born in poverty within his kingdom. I saw that all who lived and walked under the sun followed the youth, the king's successor. There was no end to all the people who were before them. But those who came later were not pleased with the successor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind

Humans try to decipher life with science. But really, have we all been just wandering in this maze of life?

Do we need to pen it down?

2010-10-03T20:41:00.008+08:00

Help to chauffeur Gek's cousin's wedding today. It was a simple affair, nothing compared to those big hoo haa weddings i attended in the past. But still, it was the best thing i feel that can happen in life. A wedding is still a positive occasion no matter what the reason might be. Its a new phase of life, a beginning of a new chapter, starting your life all over again but this time with a person beside you where ever you may be. You know when they sing the song, i've never lived without you; i guessed its that meaning? :)

Having said that, only a handful of us i would quite say would stick to the promises they make when they put on the rings for each other. I mean, there must be a reason why 50% of the marriages in USA end up in divorces. Intolerable living habits? Cannot work out the difference? Or simply it wasn't the same as before?

So i asked my elder uncle why he got married and he said at first it was love, then it was responsibilty and then commitment; in between there were moments of love(not romance). I mean, is it necessary for us to socially announce that we are off the shelf? So that there would be lesser disturbances? Or are humans really that weak in terms of resisting temptations that we need papers to remind us of our love? Or like what amy said, we can be forgettful at times and we need to be reminded.

Love is intangible and unmeasurable. Just like knowledge, as long as we learn something everyday, does it matter which school we go to or whether or not we get papers out of it? Sometimes i feel its just a 'social' thing. You can be married without signing papers and you still can be dumb with a degree. Only you know it.

Is the big P enough?

2010-10-01T22:53:00.004+08:00

Im so busy these days that i only have work and sometimes social life. There is little of 'ME' time left. So tonight, although it was a friday night, i chose to spend it with me. Went to cut hair, took a long bus ride, jogged, play abit of piano. Just some quality time with myself. :)

I have been working at TP for 3 weeks now. And as usual, i will start thinking and questions will surface for me to ponder about.

I have a friend who is interested in becoming a chef as a career and i am getting him an audience with the lecturers. Now as i work with these chefs, i understand the stress a chef face. The challenges of creativity, speed, people skills, looking and even smelling like a chef. Its not as simple as just memorising notes. My friend is very passionate but somehow the way i gave my testimonial of him did not interest the 2 chefs. According to their experience, they can even smell whether you have the makings of a good chef. I'm not bragging or anything but one of the chefs said i have the makings of a creative chef. But i no longer have that strong of a passion for culinary stuff. And compared to a passionate person without the character for this occupation, i can fare better anytime. Rather, i like music but even without my teachers saying, i know im not cut out for it.

Today i transplanted some basil germinations. According to my superior, i will know if i have the green thumb in a few days time. If the basils fail to grow, i can never touch the plants in the herbs garden again. I find that quite ridiculous. Should we even let others limit our own capabilities? Is it true that for some paths you take in life, you already know how far it will bring you and how long you can persist? Will i really kill the plants if i insist on gardening even if i dont have the green thumb?

Alot of people have passion for this and that. Take singing for example, how much tears you seen on Singapore idol when people are told they are not good enough even though they have so much passion. And some doctors who are just GPs for the rest of their career and never specialise in anything. In such a competitive environment, will the passion of christ even suffice? Or Should we take the easy way out?

奔

2010-09-26T22:51:00.003+08:00

我只能不端的奔跑。我不能，也不敢停顿下来。因为一旦拍子慢下，回忆就会出现在我脑海里。I never allow a chance to idle. I exhaust myself so i don't have to toss and turn in bed when night falls. I can't stop or rest abit because if i do, i don't know where to find the strength to stand up again. 我也只不过是脆弱的人类。I'm only human afterall. 请不要怪我。

u are an assssss

2010-09-21T21:22:00.001+08:00

sch perhaps
u ask bobo
if she ok
haha
but do u think u need a car?
u go n work it out
if u need, i can give u this car

::: Chad Chats ::: says:
i dunno the cost to park

robin. says:
then i buy another car tat i want

::: Chad Chats ::: says:
.....
ASS HOLE

robin. says:
haha
i wan manual car la
coz if i were to go back singapore

Dear brother, i think i have finally found the best way our relationship can work out. Long distance cuz i dont see your face. LOL

Working like a cow

2010-09-21T21:01:00.002+08:00

In the midst of being milked, let me share with you what i'm listening to! :D

Olivia Ong, from my brother's secondary school, Damai Sec. hahahahah Listening to her makes me feel so comfortable. ~~~

work

2010-09-19T22:47:00.000+08:00

the pain gain game

2010-09-18T09:35:00.004+08:00

I read a story somewhere in the library while working. There was an incident where a bunch of student chefs enter a competition. This competition was hosted in such a way that the contestants have to run and grab the ingredients when the time starts.

The contestants were all very young and still learning how to work under stress. An accident happened where a knife was stabbed into one of the contestant's thigh. Her mentor chef bandaged her and sent her back into the competition even though she was in alot of pain and bleeding.

Was the mentor wrong to send her back to the game? Most would argue that he's insane and inhumane to ask her to continue.

But look at it from the mentor's point of view. How about all her hard work put into preparing for the competition. She has only got this one chance. True, some might say she is young and still has many other competitions ahead she can take part in. But one thing for sure, this competition is going to the one that she will regret forever if she chose not to go back into the kitchen. She will have a "what could have been" moment in her life.

We learn in army that pain is temporary and glory is forever. Forget about the latter, but is pain really temporary? If she choose to continue, she will risk further complications. Since she is already stab with the knife and there's gonna be a scar anyway. So whats the difference? since there is going to be a scar anyway.

The question, is the gain, if any, worth the pain?

Yesterday, went drinking and had this relevation. that im going to abstain from alcohol for quite some time. I actually ordered 2 cokes. LOL :) you know, one of those moments that you just suddenly decide on something and you know its going to work out. :) Good bye alcohol :D

2 years for the Gah-men - part 1

2010-09-15T20:31:00.009+08:00

B to the M to the T

Its not about what we leave behind but what we gain ahead. Well, all mother son in singapore has to go through this shitty 2 years wearing green and enduring vulgarities. I went in with an open mind and zero expectations. I think at that time, i was like come what may, i book out in one piece can already. Turns out, my platoon is made up of nice chrisitian sergeants that doesnt believe in physical punishment. They just kept making us feel guilty. hahaah And thats where i picked up the soft skills and counselling.

Taken with the approved camera from my OC, ahem... this is the skit that bonded us all. :D I still remember the song, I found it from my brother's Mp3. We started with nothing~~~ Now we have something~~~~ we proved them all~~~ they ~~~ were ~~~ wrong~~~~

Costumes courteasy of chad and museum.. LOL.. that time still haven set up yet.

I LOVE MY JAGUAR PLATOON 4~~~!!!!

Words could not describe how touched i was when i saw them :) you see, Amy was so supportive she cut her hair like helmet. LOL

My bestie pal Khai, AKA AYU ANDRIKA! i still dunno what that means till today. LOL.. We rocked our bunk.

Most of the time, its true what you are given and you have to suck thumb. But seriously, its up to us to mould it into what we want to see :D Its about bringing the best out of everyone because everyone has a unique strength to contribute.

And we all parted ways; OCS, SISPEC, Units.

Then to SISPEC charlie where i understood what is living hell.

2010-09-14T22:13:00.000+08:00

a memorable day

2010-09-11T11:09:00.003+08:00

I still recall that morning Huiyee told the clique that the world trade center had collapsed. We were all still in uniform, and all we cared about: copying homework, and O'levels. Then last year, when 3 of t.u.b. went to New York, we visited the damaged site. Construction of a beautiful memorial site was going on; water fountains, marble slabs, almost like ancient roman temple.

Some citizens feel that no one should remind and even worse, glorify the pain by spending the tax-payers money to build a huge cemetery.

Bad memories and traumatic experiences, are we suppose to completely forget them and move on, or should we appreciate the lesson learnt and build a memoral space in our hearts?

btwimu

ORD!

2010-09-09T16:33:00.001+08:00

I shall blog about my 2 year journey soon. Come back soon to read! :D

and so it goes

2010-09-08T20:43:00.006+08:00

Gek Teng came up with a random thought which i find it quite meaningful:

People always say you never know what you have until you lose it, but the fact is you always know what you have, you just thought you would never lose it

These few days were spent in town clearing my head. Im so glad im not the type that goes clubbing or do harmful things to themselves to grief. Also don't see a point to show people how happy you can be. Its just silly... posting clubbing photos on facebook; what are you trying to prove? or who are you trying to prove to? Running away only to realise its that person in the mirror you are escaping from. People around you can give you the fuel but only you can drive. Its your vehicle, don't let it stay on the road for too long. LOL. I rather sip my tea, listen to jazz and contemplate life.

Borders. Ion. 313. Strip. EWF. Coffee Club. Kinokuniya. Starbucks. lotsa love, jazz, and tea.

When one door closes, go kick it open. Because even if the door is broken, at least now air can pass, and you can breathe.

ihmmu

2010-09-07T21:13:00.003+08:00

Hope this works.

the display

2010-09-06T12:16:00.004+08:00

Sunday I was helping out at the shoe shop.

So, for no apparant reason, a number of customers tried on the display piece, liked it but when told, thats the only piece left, they rather not have it. Cuz they felt that it has already been tried on by others. The initial reply was always "huh?.... really?... and -whines-.. " There is nothing wrong with the display but most of them would try to find fault in it just because its no longer fresh in box.

I am curious about the feelings these people have after they decide to purchase the display. Do they feel lucky that at least they managed to get the last piece? Or do their sub-conscious mind keep reminding them about the shoes' age and when it hurts their feet and they put the blame on the fact that it was the display? For me, there was this pair of really cool adidas red and blue campus sneakers i found while shopping with bei, i was so happy that the last pair was my size.

There is nothing wrong with the display but its the customer's expectation of the shoe to feel brand new. Shouldn't the customer be glad that she doesn't have to deal with the rough biting feeling of a new shoe?

Oprah Winfrey said: "you can have everything but just not all at the same time" I guess she really made some sense.

梁靜茹-可惜不是你

2010-09-05T09:06:00.006+08:00

Amy, now we share a favourite song

Because you just have face up to it and believe in truth, truth that you will be happy

I'm glad that at least, everything, the good times and the not so good were mutual; and all was honest and real even till the very end. And thats all that matter. :)

可是我不曾後悔
在最美的時候
為你改變一切

可是我不曾後悔
在最美的時候
為你放棄一切

wisdom words

2010-09-04T16:18:00.002+08:00

To love and lost is better than have not loved at all.

Having a closure is important. Whether too early or not? What is meant to be will be, and whats yours will ultimately belong. But a closure moves us on to another phase of life. I realise time is needed to nuture a relationship. Time, not measured bu the number of days being in it but rather the moments spent together with one another. They do not need to be physically together but mentally. If you think of that person and the other half is thinking about you, then you are spending it together. As the saying goes, life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but the number of breaths taken away.

Love really requires alot of patience, understanding and commitment. I'm glad though not born with these virtues, i'm working on them.

gratitude entry 001

2010-09-03T16:21:00.002+08:00

I have decided to start this gratitude entry thing to remind me of the things that made my day and be thankful for all that i have. :D

Today, my day was made at 1030.

When Amanda told me,

"HEY HEY!! You know what?! I show your facebook profile to my cousins and they say you are OO SOO CUTE!!

Her cousin are 16.

LOL.

CLICK?

2010-09-03T09:31:00.011+08:00

Have you been asked what supernatural ability you want to have when you were younger? I was once so determined that i wanted to fly. But now if you were to ask me this question again. Maybe I would wish to have control over time.

Wouldn't it be great to have control over time? You can keep your youth, keep yourself disease free and have a good quality of life. Most importantly, you wouldn't never again buy an iphone 2 months before the release of a new model. -_-

Wouldn't it be great to slow down the good times so you can savor it? Would anyone refuse to fast forward the hurtful things in our life? Having stating all the advantages of being able to 'click, do you reckon there would be cons to that?

Well, having second chances is one thing. But having a 20th chance, how would you treat that thing or issue? When you can re-take countless of driving tests, A levels, without having to wait, would you still treasure that opportunity? The fact is most of us won't. Sounds sad? Well, that's human nature for you. :)

If you don't experience pain, you won't know how to measure pleasure. People who have experienced lost, be it a family member or a dear friend would come to realise that there are rarely second chances in life. That it is impossible to 'click' back time to hug that person or just to tell her/him how much you love and miss her/him. Pain, makes us stronger and prepare us for what lies ahead.

Think deeper, would you still appreciate life if you can restart, fast forward or slow down? Put differently, would you want to live life without appreciation for it?

Do you want to click? I guess I won't want to. DUH! We are who we are because of all the ups and downs; every laugh line and every scar makes us, US! I won't trade that for anything in the world :)

MEN-YA KAIKO RAMEN

2010-09-02T00:36:00.008+08:00

ION ORCHARD #B4-52/53

Tel: +65 6509 8150

Opening Hours --- Mon–Sun: 11am – 10pm

Okay, the above 2 pictures i coped from internet. I only had my 50mm lens this time so couldnt really take those 35mm lens type of normal pictures. But anyways, this ramen shop is new i guess since its in ION and ION is new.

I had the pork and chicken ramen. I tried both the red miso and the white miso. ITS AWESOME. I MUST MUST try the king crab ramen before i leave for aussie next year.

PORK AND CHICKEN RAMEN (RED MISO)

PORK AND CHICKEN RAMEN (WHITE MISO)

4/5 stars **** for both

Pardon for the photos this time round, i haven been shooting anything lately. Well, i really want to give full marks for this store because not only the ramen is SUPERB! but the service is DAMN GOOD. plus! theres is free flow of cold original japanese green tea!! Like from real tea leaves kind i think.

The chicken breast meat is seasoned just about right and has abit of alcohol taste which is good. The meat is tender yet not powdery, flavourful yet not too strong.

The pork is bacon-like, also perfectly seasoned, there's no wild boar smell nor is it too strong a taste. The soup could be atad too salty or strong for some people if they have red miso. Overall the soup suits my tastebuds so much i can feel them dancing when i drank it. hahahah

If you prefer something lighter, you can go for soy sauce or white miso which still has the rich flavour but not that thick. I ordered tamago and hokkaido corn as well. Total bill added up to a 40+++ for 2 persons. Well, thanks to a certain pig for the treat. :D may you win more mahjong.....hmmm...I could eat ramen forever... yummy.....

AOI

2010-09-01T12:54:00.005+08:00

"Aoi", in japanese means blue, which is my favourite colour. Come to think of it, as much as I like the alternative stuffs, my favourite colour is one that spreads across the entire planet. Im feeling Aoi today but the right kind of blue, the peaceful, settling kind.

In about 5 months time, i will be embarking on this adventure. To a foreign place where the test of my independence really comes in. My family always tells me that i will miss them , treasure them more, and realise their importance when i'm there. The truth is that, despite my age, i do think i have been through enough to know that kinship, friendship, relationships are very important to me. They have made their way through above my priority of work and being successful in life. I always complain that my nephews are so noisy but when they weren't here, the silence just feels weird and i would rather my floor be full of stickers than the smell of kiwi kleen.

Its a common saying that meaningful relationships and family are important and above all, but how many people truly understand that until something is gone?

The thought of going to a new place, having meet new people, new life, new everything excites me. Then suddenly, the existing present start to creep into my heart and tell me, "hey, remember us ok? remember that we love you and we want to be part of your future; we want not because it is exciting, but because we are already part of you unknowingly."

People around me would ask like, hey! you very free hor! so much time to go out with friends. Well, i have no pressing matters on hand now and i am 'free'. But hey! when things get busy, i will still make time for you, you and especially you! because time is like a woman's cleavage, if you squeeze hard enough, there will be some. :) :) I'm just glad i took less than average time to realise how important human relations are.

MARUTAMA ramen

2010-08-31T14:24:00.003+08:00

As you know, i love ramen and i can be quite an ass when i eat it also. The previous hokkaido ramen @ central was so-so. This time, someone treated me to this MARUTAMA ramen. :) :)

6 Eu Tong Sen Street, #03-90/91, The Central, Singapore 059817, Singapore, Singapore
65-6534-8090

No need to call for reservations.

This marutama ramen $12 is not bad. The pork is slightly too salty for my taste actually and it has this porky smell, which i think the pork comes from wild boars. Good pick but abit too strong smelling hahahhah as if im eating my own kind. The seaweed is unique though. They use chicken as base broth which is different from most ramen which uses pork. The soup is the plus point for this ramen because its not too heavy. Yes, its true that both are saturated fats like what "ieat" says, but he forgot the fact the chicken is white meat and pork is red meat. Thus, its still a healthier choice ramen if you consult me.

WAHAHAH I still win in terms of science knowledge. :P

MARUTAMA RAMEN 3/5 stars

AKA RAMEN unrated

Okay, i clearly don't know what is this c.r.a.p.... To me its some weird combi of ramen+balls+tomyam+yongtaufoo stuff. I regret ordering it. Its just weird. The weirdest is the price! $15 (w/oGST) for this bowl of dunno what. Hmmmm maybe its an acquired taste i can't appreciate. I still recommend the MARUTAMA ramen, tastier and cheaper. I ordered because of the food guru at "ieat" WTH man...

Weird chicken balls..

Lemon? hokkien mee or fish and chips dude....

The only redemption factor is the Tamago and the noodle itself. The egg is really damn nice though...... YUMMY.. and the noodles are very springy. If they combine with the Hokkaido Ramen @ central who is their next next next next next door neighbour, they would have scored better on my score card.

Well, sorry for the poor photos, next time i will remember to bring my DSLR. The above were shot on iphone.

Special thanks to someone for treating me :) :)

stupid

2010-08-28T00:19:00.001+08:00

FUNNY COMMERCIALS!

2010-08-26T15:03:00.002+08:00

A quote from my dear gek teng,

In relationships, you can have eyes for all but only heart for one; In friendships, you should have eyes that watch and a heart that remembers. Awww gek teng, you always say the most meaningful stuff. Love you fats. hahah

LET ME START WORK NOW!

2010-08-25T21:25:00.003+08:00

yeah, life without some sort of a work to put your mind in sucks. I can't wait to start the permanent temp job! ARGH! They have not prepared the documents for me to sign yet so i don't dare to announce here. MAN!! Especially for me, my mind will wander to stupid areas if i have nothing to do. 我不要糊思乱想了！！！ Let me have my steady pace of happening life back!!

notes

2010-08-21T16:53:00.000+08:00

my cute auntie

2010-08-18T22:08:00.001+08:00

She pasted 30 stickers and kept pestering me to collect it. LOL. ITS JUST A FRYING PAN! hahahaha.. so cute..

thoughts

2010-08-18T16:54:00.005+08:00

Had an interview with Ms Petrinal, my ex lecturer in the morning, and as i was driving, i began to think, but this time i reminded myself to compartmentalise my emotions because they would cloud judgement whether you like it or not.

Since i was 15, I made a decision to be a dietician after taking Food and Nutrition in secondary school. The ideal of it seems so cool, like work in a hospital, help patients and care for people while drawing a reasonable pay and somewhat it balances what i like to do and what i can do. Thus, even though i could go to JC or enter any courses i wanted in an other Polytechnic, i chose Applied food science and nutrition that only required L1R4 of 15 points.

Anyway, along the way, taking modules and internship, major project, i got disappointed after seeing the shit dieticians get. Still, i feel lucky that my passion kept in on the track. Seriously, i did thought of taking the easy way out to study like business or banking or even just go into fashion design or photography full time.

Everything in life is a decision, even not deciding itself is a decision (quote from my late vocal teacher and friend, Nicole Lai). Did i regret making my career decision so young in life? Well, all i can say is that every job has its ups and downs. If everytime you see the downside and change path, you will get no where in life. I do get bored after i read so much science, but i know i want to create a better and healthier lifestyle for everyone. :) Maybe its not that im bored or anything, buts its because i got more comfortable with it already. Going abit into design did gave me a breath of fresh air but so will going into business, so will going into music. But at the end of the day, i still love my science. :D I realise like i really love nutrition, design and all but when there are obligations and restrictions, its just human nature to feel stressed out.

I don't know if its the school or Ms Petrinal but what she said brought my mindset back to when i was in Poly, where i was more open minded, more flexible, less expecting more grateful. I felt adrenaline rushing just talking about going back to school to work. Nothing's confirm but im hopeful.

My lecturer injected the impossibilites of the future back to my head. Impossbilities is something a positive person would say. It sometimes is also known as the uncertainties of the future. However, that need not be worrysome but it can be something beautiful instead. We don't know what the future brings. So all we need to do is to cherish the present because if we keep harping on the past, we can never truly move forward into the so called future.

Im going to get back all that zest for life i lost in army. VA VA VROOM WITH MY LIFE!

UPDATES!!

2010-08-17T02:55:00.010+08:00

ENOUGH WITH POST OF THOUGHTS!! now i share with you what i'm doing these days. Life's pretty nice when you are going to ORD, trust me people! For my pioneers and fellow sergeants, LOL.. YOUR TIME WILL COME!!

SANTOUKA HOKKAIDO RAMEN

Located at Central, 2nd floor, you have to take a lift up from the concierge or you will never get there. LOL. You must walk through a smelly walkway with a restaurant under renovation where its all glue toxic. Then you will see this tiny shop. Service was not bad consider the shop size.

Ok this is the spicy ramen Huiyee ordered, abit too spicy for me. I cant rate it cuz i didnt really eat it.

This is MINE! Pork miso ramen. Hmmmm.. after tasting so many ramen in Singapore and some in Japan. I can only give this 2 out of 5 stars. Well, 1 star for the soup, 1 star for the noodles. It hits the standards of a decent ramen. However, the rest of the ingredients such as the mushroom, the somewhat seaweed not seaweed crap, even the pork was so so cuz only have 2 pathetic slices. For the price of S$14.50++, you can definitely find better. Well, i would still recommend you to try cuz taste is subjective, even though im a ramen pro. LOL.

Pardon my sleepy look. :D

And Huiyee love this picture cuz she say her arms cut into half. LOL

POP PIANO LESSONS

We took on 2 lessons in 1. Awesome right? Our first lesson only. LOL, cuz both of us have some piano background. the teacher keep saying very good. MUAHAHAH i can play "tong hua" accompanment already. Anyone wanna sing for me? :)

So happy to re-pick up piano lessons. Music soothes me.